I was having a chat with my mentor the other day. We talked about a base line fear of mine. That fear of rejection. Of having someone say no to my service. And how I have interpreted this to mean no to me, as a person. “No…I do not value you.”
I have till now taken the no as personal.
Truth is, sometimes it is. And yet in so many different circumstances I have zero discomfort with no. I have no issue with reaching out to Seth Godin for an interview for the 2:23AM podcast. It’s a roll of the dice…and I have little attachment to the outcome. Plus if you do not ask the answer is no.
But when it comes to my work, to my value, to having someone say yes or no to that and pay me…it becomes personal. Funny that, how the money stuff changes things.
I know I am not the only person in the world who feels this. Rejection is one of the very big fears.
It is time to break this one down from ruling my life. Because it has been ruling my life. And at a considerable cost. It has been the thing that has kept my work from the world.
As usual, it starts on the inside. How much do I value me? How much do I reject my own value? What would I pay someone to do what I am charging to do, with joy and gratitude?
And then it is about asking. And standing in the no. And asking again. And standing in another no. And knowing that it is not always personal. That it is often timing, affordability, and simple human chemistry. And even when it is personal, that too is not the end of the world.
Fear of rejection is life limiting. Life is too short to have rejection keep us small.
Oh…and it really helps if you believe in your work much more than you are concerned about what people think or do. (Reference JK Rowling, Seth Godin, and many other blockbuster authors who had their work rejected multiple times.)