To be undone by the random

Change is difficult, fraught, terrifying….

To truly accommodate the possibility of transformational change….the kind of change where on the other side of change there is almost zero correlation to where we started…requires a neurobiological transmutation. Our mind/being must grow several sizes after being reduced to mush.

We must get into the weeds of entropy. To be undone by the random. To live in the earthquake of confusion. 

But we would rather not. 

So we spend our days on tweaking. On re-arranging the furniture. On creating solutions to problems without considering the root of the root, the source of the source.

We gather together and discuss change that doesn’t require depth. We throw solutions against the wall that fails to stand in the complexity, the history, the arc of everything that had us arrive here.

And we think that the solution will be an endpoint, when it is actually only a temporary pause, the illusion of change. It will give us that momentary high, an addiction in its own right.

Tomorrow we will go back and wring our hands, longing for something different.

But different comes at the cost of transfiguration. And transfiguration has its own gestation rate…we cannot force it, contain it, control it. Even though we long to.

On the other side, if we cherish the process, honour it, be a servant to its clear intent to unravel us, we might hold a shred of wisdom.

Photo taken December 11th 2020


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