Every day is a day to Love. Be Syntropic

I was lucky. I was born into love. Held in love as a child. Nurtured by love to adulthood. Birthed in a country that enabled opportunity.

The romantic love that we seem to crave does not come easily. I was three weeks from a wedding because I thought perhaps I was missing what this kind of love meant and considered perhaps it would grow after the marriage. Lucky for me, again, I woke up and didn’t marry that first time.

My daughter, the first love of my life, was born through a younger version of intimate love. She was the gift I did not ask for. She taught me more about love, about being human, about kindness and care and profound consideration than anyone. She still does.

I found myself single in my thirties, and for a long time thought that there was something deeply wrong with me for not being able to find intimate love with another.

I fell deeply in love with Joseph, and learned about depression, and ultimately, suicide. This experience had me live and breathe deeply into what it means to choose life. What it means to live each day in intractable emotional and spiritual pain. What it means to choose, with full consciousness, death. It might sound hard, and there were certainly hard moments, but the whole experience is one I cherish.

And then for a very long time, it was just me and my daughter. For most of my adult life, just the two of us.

Through this I found myself. I went through the darkest of my own nights. I didn’t want to wake up. I cried the Soul of the ocean. I couldn’t find solid ground that I could trust to hold me when I took a step.

My work had always been my love. The structure of my life, the early morning beach walks and runs, the sunrise, the ocean, nature as a daily beginning, were my saving grace.

I found happiness within. A very long time ago, more than a decade, I stopped looking for love out there. I knew that I was happy with me. That if love came, it would be synergistic. That my life and my being would be enriched exponentially more than it already was.

And so it was a complete surprise that my love found me, and I found my love. Living my life. Just as I am today, writing this blog at my beachside coffee shop, the mighty Pacific my view. 

A casual conversation at this very coffee shop, unfolding over the course of 7 months. I didn’t see it. Until that first kiss. And then everything opened…my heart, the Universal symphony…we both felt that we had to go through everything that brought us to each other…all that pain and angst…

I never dreamed this kind of love…whole, passionate, certain…existed. 

It has been worth waiting almost my entire adult life for. Worth every tear. Every break. Every want in the fabric I had expected of my life.

Every day the sun gives love. The trees, the birds…life…love in abundance. It is called Syntropy…giving to generate life and love.

Rather than seek for love, be the generator of love, just as the sun does.

I cannot guarantee that in doing this you will find the love I have found. I can guarantee that you will feel whole and complete, and because of this nothing will be missing.

Every day is a day to generate love. Be Syntropic.

February 14th 2020

Photo taken February 14th, 2020, by Natalie, my daughter