Our addiction to having an enemy, to vengeance

Imagine this world for a moment…where enemies were the rare, rare exception?

No enemy…no one person trying to get you…or no effort being spent trying to get another person.

No trillions being spent on killingry. On some quasi protectionism…like the NSA’s urge to listen to everyone and everything…that this is supposed to make people ‘feel’ safe.

No revenge. Imagine all that time and money being spent on revenge simply disappearing…and along with it, whole professions like law. Oh..and how about the restored time you get each day to focus on stuff that is great, beautiful, exciting…instead of the black hole or revenge? (But let’s face it, our addiction to the enemy fuels so many people…it is from this we get our daily juice.)

What lives behind having an enemy? What drives that conversation? Worth digging deep into this, being brutal with your self-reflection…you may uncover things you do not like.

Is this how you want to spend your one wild and precious life?

There is a great quote that goes something like this… if we truly took the time to know someone’s story… truly… then we would have a hard time remaining enemies.

If you are interested in shifting your precious time from focusing on getting the enemy or exacting vengeance, then there is a wonderful process called a conversation for understanding. Warning: only the brave should give this a go… for it takes courage to put aside your own righteousness and listen to the story of another.

Yep…people do bad things. People need to be held to account. Let’s explore other ways.

There is a tribe in Africa where, if someone steals from another, the whole tribe puts that person at the centre of a circle, and each person takes a turn to speak about what they like and appreciate about that person. They do this because they believe the person has forgotten who they are…and they need to be reminded that they are a part of the tribe. They keep going until healing has occurred and the offender is reintegrated. The tribe believes that no one person is not a part of the whole, and that it takes the whole tribe to restore wholeness.

Africa is also the home of truth and reconciliation.

While neither of these two practices mentioned is perfect, they are surely better than our current ways…prison, war, killing….hmm…let’s see…how effective are they?

Sadly, for many people, having an enemy gives them a purpose.

I would hope for a world where purpose is not deeply entangled with righteousness, separation and one-upmanship.

Photo credit: Topher McCulloch via Compfight