The miracle of my daughter

On this day 29 years ago, I was blessed with the miracle of my daughter.

To provide context, I had never, until this day, 29 years ago, held a baby. I had never imagined or dreamed of being a mother. 

Natalie was written into my life as the wrinkle we do not expect, but the one that enriches our lives in unimaginable and magnificent ways.

It was on this day that I stepped into the full immensity of love. The Universe of pure adoration. Reduced to nothingness and everything simultaneously. 

To look into her eyes, I saw a Soul still connected to all Souls. Infinite wisdom. Grace. Peace. It was mesmerising and entirely humbling.

It was as if she truly arrived to recalibrate the world. She certainly managed to recalibrate mine.

I am a better person for her being. I found compassion, empathy, beauty.

She has been my teacher. Her endless grace, infinite kindness and always thoughtfulness have blessed me in a million and more ways.

My job as mother was to not mess up what already existed the day she was born. I knew mothering and stewardship intuitively. I knew that rather than impose my will on her…I tried that once and thankfully met the full power of her own rejection…I was to cultivate the field for her own unfolding.

Happy Birthday Natalie. I carry you, always, in my heart. I thank you each day for the gift of you.

February 16th 2020

Photo taken February 16th, 2020