The relationship between a bully and a victim
A bully seeks their prey. They do not pick on everyone.
Bullying comes in many guises.
It can come with a smile and masterful manipulation. This type of bullying is harder to detect.
It can come with physical might and size.
It can come with emotional might and the ability to intimidate.
A bully is hungry for power. They want to dominate.
To that end, they will use whatever weapons they have.
A victim of a bully trembles in the face of whatever weapon of power is wielded.
When someone realises they have been picked as the victim of choice by a bully, they can regain their power, learning the tools and skills to do so.
If it is physical might and strength, learn self-defence. Size matters not when we know how to use our body in defence.
If it is emotional blackmail and gaslighting, we must see the game being played and refuse to step into the arena. And we must rebuild our inner resources and confidence. This can take time.
If the weapon is ridicule and belittlement, look to the brokenness and the narrative we tell ourselves about ourselves that the bully has recognised as our weakness. Heal that.
Once we recognise we are in a game for power, where the other is seeking to dominate, once we see the form of the game, we can set about taking action to both refuse to participate in the game as we build our inner resources.
This takes time. It is time well spent.
Photo Taken October 22nd 2023