The story you are telling about your identity

Our identity is an elusive beast. 

In our infancy, without self-reference, we express. This expression includes our uniqueness. Add to this our family context, our culture, the people around us. Do we need to protect ourselves against violence, ridicule, shame? Are we encouraged to be loud or silent? Is there a gender response that gives or shuts permission down?

As we grow up, we tell ourselves a story about our identity. Quite often, a defining moment becomes the Source story of our identity. 

I remember when I was about nine years old, becoming aware that the world was trying to shape me into someone I did not want to be. I could see this effort from my parents, my culture, my school. 

I rebelled. This yearning to be me was raw, ill-formed. It made it hard for people to be with me. Yet it also allowed me to be comfortable out on the edge. Alone.

The aloneness had me yearning to find my tribe. Consequently, I was seduced by many charismatic, dominant male figures, subjugating myself, my integrity, and my worth to them.

Until I became aware of this and found my feet, voice, and courage. The choice of remaining small and submissive became impossible to align with living.

It was either to roar in my language or disappear. 

Identity is forged through the combination of our uniqueness and our life circumstances and choice. If we do not like the story we tell ourselves, we can change the story.

I like being fierce. I trust my word. I like that I am embodied, that movement and action are my defaults. I like that I know how to set strong, clear boundaries and be impeccable with their maintenance, no matter who tries to violate them. I am increasingly telling a story about my generosity and thoughtfulness, for this is the identity I seek to carry into my next decade.

Consider the story you are telling about your identity. 

What story might you like to tell as you shape your identity for the future?

Photo Taken February 22nd 2023