When no means no

Remember when you were a child and your parents or guardian would say no and mean NO?

Remember when they would say no and mean maybe?

We, as children, from a very early age, might have pushed the NO to check its alignment, but we knew the difference between a NO and a no = maybe. 

Most kids could turn the no = maybe into a yes through sheer persistence and by wearing the parent down. Or by throwing a tantrum, preferably in a public place.

We adults have not lost that ability to discern a NO and a no = maybe.

When we are making a request, when we are setting boundaries, our task is to be sure that our words are 100% aligned, to the degree that they become a transmission. There is no doubt about the speaker or the person being spoken to.

Everyone thrives when there are healthy and clear boundaries. Not too tight, nor too loose. We thrive when we set clear, aligned boundaries, with a clear NO.

A weak transmission of no = maybe blurs the edges of our identity, allowing us to be porous to extraction, infection and contamination by others.

The strongest transmission doesn’t even need words. A look. A stand.

This is what clarity plus power looks like. Coherent, aligned. Certain.

June 27th 2018

 

Photo Taken July 16th 2016