To criticise is easy. To backstab is easy. Generosity is hard
A few weeks ago, my co-founder Lou McGregor and I, plus an awesome team of people, produced the second Big Blue Sky event. +25 speakers, students from 8 schools, sponsors, facilitators, guests…so super proud of this awesome event.
We are trying to do something unusual. Bring people together to co-create Moonshots to increase the Common Wealth of Community. It is this amazing cacophony of students, scientists, educators, academics, entrepreneurs, venture capitalists, business people, social entrepreneurs and artists.
No question we did an amazing job.
The experience of a core team of 8 people putting their entire hearts and souls into this endeavour has been humbling for me…there is something in the air when people give so much of themselves for this mysterious other ‘thing’…and the giving is from love and simply wanting to be a part of something great.
Like all experiences that take you to the edge of emotion, focus, attention, love, effort and intention…I learned so very much.
Without doubt, the most significant lesson I have learned this year, our second year, is how easy it is for people to stand on the sidelines and criticise. Throw rocks. Tear us down. Have us not be perfect, not be good enough, not be this or that…
Of course we cannot be perfect, we cannot be exactly what someone might be looking for. And to even try to be all of these things to everyone is a fool’s game.
The in-my-face-ice-cold-bucket of water lesson is how easily I have criticised others and their valiant endeavours in my past. Made a snide remark, judged them for not doing this or that, for doing too much of something. For lacking…?
Celebrating someone’s effort, their commitment, their passion, their ALL IN, even if what they have created doesn’t fit my worldview of what is right and needed, is far, far harder than tearing them down. Smarty pants, cutting, hard, nasty words flow from my lizard brain with an effortless ease that has me pause and consider who I am.
To honour and acknowledge true integrous effort, no matter what. This is real work. This is grace. Generosity. Love. Solidarity. Team. Humanity.
This is the lesson that is punching me in the face.
As Brené Brown has so eloquently said, if you too are not in the arena, covered in dust and dirt and sweat, then I will not give you space to criticise me. Or my project. Or my team. You are welcome to go out and tell the world whatever you think. But I will not pay you heed. Because you have not earned the right.
If, however, you are in the arena, if we look each other in the eye, dust to dust and dirt to dirt…your words will have a space for my attention. Even if they sting. Even if they do not match what feels like an aligned next move. Even if we are poles apart.
And if it is me slammed face down on the dirt in the arena watching another…then the only words I have to utter are, well, bloody done for getting into the arena. Bravo. Bravo. Happy to help, if I can… Have you considered this?
Written November 4th 2016
