Healthy Anger

As I reflect on this week…it was an opportunity to explore healthy anger, from my own inner world, to the larger stage of anger unfolding in our global world.

On Wednesday, I was angry and stressed. I was not in a flow state. Far from it. My inner conversation was working overtime on gnashing away at some issue. Therefore, I was not present. Certainly not present enough to see a car parked in a place it was not supposed to be as I backed my car out of the garage. BANG (Even with the rear alarms going off loudly…I was so into my inner war zone conversation that I can’t remember hearing the alarms at all.) Not a bad hit, but enough to break the rear light. This incident, of course, only added to the inner fire that was already burning.

Thank goodness for sport. On this day, it was swimming. I burned and churned water in those first 1000 meters. How do people cope when they do not have a healthy outlet for anger? Not only could I burn all the rage out through my swimming, but the water also helps to wash it all away. By the time I got out of the pool to go home, my equilibrium was back. Anger dispersed! A healthy anger channel.

People who know me will say that I have quite a fiery energy. Short fuse, not backwards in coming forwards. I have had to learn to make it healthy anger.

I would literally be a monster if not for my sport as my outlet. It allows me to discharge the excess. Sport has been a critical part of my ongoing journey towards personal mastery over anger.

I see so many people who live their lives enraged. It is not only like a cancer, but it also becomes cancer literally. They project their inner rage on whatever they can out there, rather than going inside and doing the work on the truth of their rage. So many people have no cues for healthy anger management.

My anger and assertiveness do come in handy. I am not afraid to speak up.

Customer service in our society can be badly lacking. Leaders and politicians get away with lying every day. Shame on them. They get away with it because of our failure to speak up.

Some people do need more healthy anger and assertiveness. And the ability to speak up. To learn assertive communication / how to be assertive.

What have I learned from this week of fire and a combination of healthy anger and unhealthy anger?

*Firstly, I do really need to go into a quiet space and reconnect with my centre. I usually do this every day as part of my integral practice. This is actually a priority.

*Secondly, I have reaffirmed the value of my sport, and how it keeps me from burning up. We all need an outlet of some kind to release anger. Sport, writing, dance, being in nature..each of us has a different mechanism that allows transmutation of toxic anger.

*Thirdly, part of my work is to support others to speak up. To be assertive. To ask for what they want. To speak truth to power figures and situations. To use healthy anger.

*And finally, after I have found the quiet space inside, I need to get to the truth of my recent anger. Pull its black sticky fingers from my internal organs and transmute it into light. This is our real work. And it never ends. Our shadow self finds the nooks and crannies to hide and act up with remarkable agility. Part of our work with our shadow self is to learn to embrace it. Even to like it. I like and respect my anger. However, my essential self needs to be the manger of my anger. Not my anger to be the manager of my life. This is where the cancer lies. When anger rules.

Many people are terrified by anger. They have no distinction between healthy anger and unhealthy anger. They are terrified by the level of their own suppressed anger/rage, and have no idea how to let it loose without doing damage. Or they are terrified by the anger of others and cower in its presence.

On a global scale we have so much work to do around transmuting anger. Allowing it expression, not denying it, but being sure it is used to stir positive action. This is part of the work around the field effect. The expression of healthy anger and safe environments to allow anger to rise, and be transmuted, is critical to our navigation of the complex waters of today’s world into a brighter future of tomorrow. We see the lack of this ability in a culture of bullying, whether that is the playground or the workplace.

So many people are angry and yet do not have the skills and tools to become the manger of their anger. Their anger burns like a smoldering out of control fire, eating up the very green of their lives. It is a micro part of the overall macro world of terrorism, environmental degradation, the burning up of our energy savings account of fossil fuels.

We have to address our own anger, our own rage, our own self hate. Healing of the whole only occurs when we heal the whole of the self, a reflection of the whole of Universe. Healthy anger can then be used to get us off the couch, and into action…positive, life-affirming, resourceful action. For a great resource, see the emergency tool kit.

One of the greatest tools for working with anger is of course, compassion.

Written around 2010.