We humans are complex. You can live with someone for a long time and be surprised by an unexpected behaviour. We can surprise ourselves with our own behaviour.
We jump into an enterprise or business together, as partners or workmates, with such haste, neglecting to take the time to be sure our relational dynamic, the ecology we create to ensure a wonderful relationship ongoing, is in really good shape.
Some sort of blind trust, wanting to be nice, to be the good person, to be the generous one, to hope that all will be well, seizes us.
We use cues like – we have the same values, we care about the same thing, we are complementary to each other – your strengths are my weaknesses; we connect on one area and presume connection in all other areas.
We think the purpose that brings us together is enough. We like what the other person is up to in their life, at least the parts we can see.
We think the other is so amazing, so awesome, so incredible, that we diminish ourselves (often unconsciously) in their light, putting them on a pedestal. I did this for years. Giving my time, love and energy to serve another (always a dominant male with narcissistic tendencies) at the expense of my own life.
Finding my own power and realising that not only is it enough, it is magnificent, has been a very hard journey for me.
Just as human relationships are complex, they are also the key to everything we want and desire.
Not just intimacy, connection, being seen, being loved..witnessed, but also it is the only way we can create.
Creation cannot occur through an atomised individual. At the least, we need materials from nature.
Our greatest creativity occurs when we work with others.
Synergy – where the behaviour of the whole cannot be determined by an examination of the parts separately, literally means that when I work with another or a group, in an ecology that nurtures the collective and the purpose we are working on together, then the outcome will be exponentially greater than any single person could dream of.
To do great work, to do work that ensures a world with a future, to bring beauty, love and artefacts to life, we must work together.
And here in lies the tension.
We need each other. Yet we might drive each other crazy. Maybe not at first…but eventually it is possible we might fall into a messy human heap.
The question then becomes how do we create ecologies that nurture positive synergy, where collectively we are exponentially greater than when we are apart?
How do we do this that enables amplification of synergetic potential every day?
With rare exception this is not a slapstick response. A great gardener would not in their right mind throw seeds into bankrupt soil. A good parent, no matter their circumstances, will do all they can to cultivate a home space for their child.
The ecology is as essential to the healthy thriving of synergistic humans as anything else.
To take the time to get the threshold crossing agreement in place…when we work together, this is how we will behave with each other…this is what we will do when things break down…these are the values we hold…these are the non-negotiables…if conflict happens this is how we respond.
We take the time to clarify our purpose so that it is so well understood no one is confused and everyone can name it clearly.
We take the time to speak to the Source Idea and its Pattern Integrity that we are animating so that there is alignment between us all. No space for dissonance.
We have structures in place to be sure that if we stray from our Pattern Integrity we will be directed back on course. Every time. Rigourously.
We take the time to build the relationship, the glue that keeps it all together. We learn better ways to communicate. Tools to support the most difficult conversations. We ask for help. Get coaching support. Build our skills in the complicated area of human communication. The ecology supports all of this, knowing that by doing so the benefits are exponential.
We design rituals that create anchor points when things get rocky.
We lean to hold ourselves and each other to account. We speak the truth with love and care to serve the best in each other.
We do good work. Work that matters. Not always easy work. We sometimes disagree, we wrestle with ideas about next steps. We wonder. We learn to ask great questions. We become extraordinary listeners.
We care. We respect. We dignify.
We spend more time building up than tearing down.
When our shadow is present, we are invited to see it, sometimes for the very first time. This happens absent shaming or ridicule.
We know we are powerful, that we are agents of change, not supplicants waiting for others to lead.
We dare. Wholeheartedly.
I believe in every part of my being that most people want to work in these types of spaces, places, ecologies, enterprises.
If we do not invest our time in the careful creation of these ecologies, this type of enterprise, then our chances of experiencing them are slim.
It is a whole systems approach. Deliberate. Considerate. Imbued with love.
A tool like the Trust Manifesto for a Syntropic Enterprise will help guide the creation of this type of enterprise. Download the Trust Manifesto here.
To not have some form of human relational design is to invite the likely possibility of too much precious time spent managing breakdowns, upset, miscommunication, messy human heaps, ongoing. Synergistic responses will be rare.
An enterprise for a world with a future is a place of love, infinite care, respect, comprehensive consideration…
Working in these types of spaces is love in action.
**We cover all of the elements covered in this article and more in the Syntropic Enterprise Masterclass.