Leave the world as light as you entered

My partner and I spent the day yesterday cleaning house and supporting my 92-year-old father. Until a week ago, we had his partner to do most of this, but we have realised that she was not capable of doing anything, through a hidden from us, but advanced dementia.

I wonder how humans can choose to live in such conditions. It was truly shocking. 

His neighbours said he is the most stubborn man they know. His resistance to any form of modern technology, his refusal to care for himself, his disregard of his appearance and how it affects others, takes an otherwise healthy man into the realm of helplessness. His wife is equally stubborn, hence not letting on about her condition.

It is indeed wilful and extraordinarily selfish. 

There is a part of me that is angry. He has his mind, sharp as a tack. To get to the stage in life where the inheritance his children receive is to spend weeks or longer cleaning up, sorting, figuring out. Junk hoarded over two decades. None of the important paperwork able to be found.

Now suddenly blind, he was in tears when I finally got him to be able to talk to his new mobile phone and ask it to make calls to his family. He was in awe. 

For a technology that has been there for ten years. It took me hours to get him to the place of that simple task. 

We have to be better at aging and death. Like every stage in life, it needs to be confronted, planned for and lived as a discipline.

Less stuff each year, ruthless removal of everything, one place for all the paperwork, and a digital key to all the passwords given to the powers of attorney. 

Leave the world as light as you entered is the goal. If there is an inheritance, have it been one of ease and joy. 

November 30th 2025