There is an elephant sitting at the dining room table
No, there is no elephant, says my friend, sitting at the same table, even though the elephant is right there.
I refuse to see an elephant.
This is willful blindness.
To acknowledge the elephant means a collapse of identity, the lineage history of their life.
Everything, everything will change forever, the moment the elephant is acknowledged.
Easier, safer, to stay in denial. To refuse to name the elephant.
In denial, the relational dynamic breaks down. How do you maintain a relationship when one person denies what is real and evident? The denial erodes the possibility of common ground.
Relational integrity is founded on an agreement of common ground. This is the earth we stand upon. These are the values we hold.
Relational integrity requires curiosity, open hearts and minds, the ability to be wrong, and to confront the elephant.
Willful blindness and refusal are a closed mindset. Like any form of fundamentalism, they become isolationist, the seeds of an us-and-them polarity that can only explode if maintained.
Only time and love can bridge this divide. It cannot be argued with, reasoned with. It can only be learned by disintegration and transformation.
Every time I refuse to see the elephant, I look within. In my curiosity, at these moments, my life has been transformed for the better.
Published May 1st 2026. Photo taken May 1st 2026
