(This article was written for my private clients. However, it is a really wonderful way to complete the year, so I thought to share it far and wide.)
Here is my suggestion.
- What were the most difficult experiences of 2012? Why were they difficult? What have you learned from them? Go deep…for the lessons are the things that release you.
- Is there anything about 2012 , anything at ALL, that you feel uncomfortable about? Slightly squirmy, want to forget, bury, not discuss? Anything that either happened to you, or that you did? Do you have any shame, humiliation, anger, hurt or upset that is lingering from any incident or experience in 2012? Even a nano degree of icky?
If you do, do not ignore it. At the least write it down. Take it from the metaphysical ‘non form’ to some type of form..the written or spoken word. Talk to me about it in our next conversation. Commit to completing it so that by midnight 2012/2013, it is done. You are neutral.
This exercise is so very important. When we leave a residue behind, even to the smallest degree, some part of us is left in the past. Do this over a life time and the ability to be fully present reduces exponentially.
3. Now look at the successes in 2012. Even the small ones. Do not step over any success. Write them down. Put them all in one place. If necessary, ask another person close to you what they see as your successes.
Now choose a way to really sit in what you have accomplished and take it in. ALL IN. By this stage you also may be taking in the fact that you have cleaned up all the unfinished business you covered in step 1 and 2. I would consider reaching the end of the year clean and neutral a great success.
Most of us do not really celebrate our successes. We skip right over them and move onto the next goal. Therefore we are left with a constant feeling of emptiness.
If you can, find a small group of trusted friends, as well as your coach, to share your successes with. Each person has the opportunity to share their successes, no matter how minor or large, and have their friends just sit with them in acknowledgement. Cheering, clapping and present silence are all ways of deeply acknowledging success.
4. Now to 2013.
Rather than look at goals, look at how you want to show up in 2013. Given your experience of 2012, how do you need to show up differently in 2013?
Consider the following.
What do you need to do LESS of?
What do you need to do more of?
What do you need to GIVE up completely?
Choose ONLY one thing from each of these to focus on for the month of January 2013. For example.
I need to do less unfocused work like random email, and social media
I need to be very structured with the things that really matter
I need to give up resistance to what I KNOW I am to be doing, and JUST DO IT.
Only choose one thing in each category, or simply just one thing, and then do it until it becomes habit.
5. Project to this time next year when you are doing this same exercise. When you look at how you have shown up in 2013, what will make you go…”I did it…I was THAT person.”
I want you to focus on who you are being far more than what you are doing for 2013. Goals are great, but they have increasingly less relevance in our world today. I have found that when I focus on being, how am I being in the world, the goals are less important.
In gratitude constantly Present
Trusting in your own intuition
At a more granular level, consider being
Your word, always, including your word to yourself
Courageous…doing the stuff you know you do not want to do but that you also know you are being called to do…
More attentive to detail around certain things, like money, other peoples feelings, the context of things, the larger world currents.
Clues to ways of being will always be in the places of the most resistance. Where are you most resistant. That is the place you will get the most impact in 2013.
6. Finally, if you really want to achieve some goals for 2013, choose wisely. Choose only when you are willing to put your whole life behind them, when every cell in your body, every fibre of your being, says this is a YES. Even if you are terrified.
For our next conversation please send me the answers to these questions, or the questions that these questions may have raised. Lets explore these together.