Frozen. Enshittified. Emotional

For no particular reason, I notice a rising tide of sadness.

I was up very early to bring two amazing people together from across the most diverse time zones. 

Battling as I have for weeks, indeed the entire year, with tech issues, a new computer failing to keep even the minimum tasks going without spinning wheels and freezing…a fractal metaphor perhaps of something nagging for my attention.

As I listened to these amazing women talk and share and connect, my camera off to try to stay unfrozen, I noticed the rising emotions. Tears pushing to the surface.

I wonder, where are they arising from? 

Then, later, in the surf, completely battered by big swell and a massive current, my board and I dragged 500 metres or more down the beach. The forces of nature so strong I could only attempt badly to get beyond the surf break. For the first time in my few years of surf, defeated, unable to get out the back, where you need to be. The long walk up the beach, board under my arms. Feeling like a failure. 

I contemplated trying again. But the fight was not in me. 

I read these words, observing without assigning meaning, the threads. Struggling technology, slow speeds, spinning wheels, freezing. Being dragged down the beach by a current hard to stop. The fight not in me. Add to this, the awareness of the anger that, if given full room in my biology, would render me a toxic swamp, not the way to bring beauty into the world. That delicate balance of divine anger and goodness, truth and beauty, such a fine line to navigate.

Without projection, I will sit with the emotion, allowing it to speak to me. An AI search gave me a fix for the technology. Interestingly, an endless looping process that needs to be patched by Apple. The enshittified companies like Apple have me in an endless looping process. Now there is a fractal metaphor. I have to laugh at the irony.

We, humans, are in an endless looping process of enshittification. It drags us, unwillingly, often unconsciously, down the beach, miles and miles from home. It leaves us shattered, hardly a scrap of energy to fight against it. Even our anger becomes toxic, infecting us with bitterness.

And yet, I recall, very early this morning I repeated my sermon. That we, you, me, us, people who care about life, beauty, Earth, people…our task is not just to be the change we seek in the world, now, today, but to do everything as a demonstration of that change. How we relate, the structures we create, the things we do, the words we speak. No place for toxic anger. No place for looping. Or helplessness. When the current grips you, you cannot fight it. You go with it, or, to get out of it, you go at 90 degrees to it, which is precessional. 

And of course, that is the answer I was seeking. It is precessional. (https://syntropic.world/imagine-if-our-goals-are-not-the-point-the-principle-of-precession/) What is the precession we seek, not the goal. What is the effect at 90 degrees, the path that will take us out of the current that has become so strong that fighting it is silly.

As I drove to the gym, in the morning dark, I listened to a segment on BBC World about the Cockroach Janata Party in India. How it rose from the young people being told they were lazy. Its tagline is. A political party for the people the system forgot to count. Five demands. Zero sponsors. One large, stubborn swarm.

A political party for the people the system forgot to count. This is precession in action.

More and more people, I call them the 92%, are the people the system forgot to count as having any value other than exploitation. ( https://syntropic.world/95-yanged-out-by-8-of-the-global-population/)

I feel the rising tide of movement, through the despair and anger. Do you? It is not linear, not obvious. It is counterintuitive. It is precessional.

Published July 21st 2026. Photo taken July 19th 2026