On discipline – steady in the chaos
I didn’t get a photo this morning because I was out on the ocean surfing as the sun rose. It was beautiful.
For more than thirty years I built a structure in my life to support my wellbeing as I navigated single parent entrepreneurial life.
This was a morning routine of running and squad swimming, to the clock. Each day a rising time, each day the physical movement, each day the dawn. Unless I was travelling you would know where to find me on a particular day, including what stretch of road I would be on.
I know that this structure tethered me to ground as all about me was unstable. It was my anchor. The reliable in the unreliable. (From an Integral Meta Theory perspective, this is the forth stage or Blue framework in healthy application. The structure to contain the wild creative unpredictable life.)
Through my distance running I found a place to sort the noise from truth. I found steady in the chaos. When times were hard, I found a sanctuary. Just me, my body in communion, and the road, the sky, the trees and the ocean.
I came to trust myself in my discipline. To know that I was reliable. To myself.
I cannot overstate how important being reliable to self is as an act of love. I can count on me. I trust myself.
It took years.
Now, as I have been so lucky to become secure in a very deep and profound love, as I have a partnership with another, and not just me, I feel a little more spaciousness to change up my discipline. To relax it a little.
And I am learning to surf.
Still up before dawn, still doing some form of movement in nature, but now the structure designed more around weather, conditions, and the opportunity.
I am certain I could only reach this place by knowing my capacity for self discipline. Not lazy, not indulgent. Dancing with….
Photo taken September 23rd 2018
