Rejection

In so many areas of my life I have little care for what people think of me.  I am writing this at a cafe after a run, sweaty, no makeup, hair in a ponytail, my running gear years old. Definitely missing the trendy ‘athletica’ look. 

Yet there are some places where rejection hits hard.

Where I want to be liked. I want to be part of the in-crowd. For me, these places have to do with acceptance by people I admire or think are my intellectual equals. It happens less and less often as I accept my own skills and experience as being valuable. I have nothing to prove to anyone. 

I consider rejection and its sting. How the shadow of rejection means that we actually reject that which we seek. In our own diminishment as a protection to the potential of rejection we prevent the very thing we desire from our own embrace. 

I remember years ago feeling rejected by a group I wanted to be accepted by and I ran away, literally. Only to discover that they did not want to reject me, rather they were seeking my embrace. Yet my instinct was to run from that pain of rejection.

Perhaps rather than run, turn away from, put up walls and barriers, we might turn and allow those we fear rejecting us to let us in.

Photo taken April 21st 2022