Nice people are not always caring people

Were you raised to be nice? 

Don’t do that, be nice.

Do you feel you must be nice, and any behaviour that is not nice must be avoided at all costs?

What this means is that when a friend asks you to comment on their outfit, or hair, or boyfriend/girlfriend, your reply is nice, but not honest. 

Because…

You must be nice.

So you do not speak out, you do not rock the boat, you say only nice things.

Which also means you often lie. To be nice.

If I genuinely care for you, I will transcend being nice. I care more about you than what you think of me.

Even if you do not like me, or if I am not perceived as being nice.

I will speak, because my care for you is greater than my desire or need to be nice.

This is the premise of the Dare to Care workshop. (https://syntropic.world/dare-to-care/) My care transcends my need to be nice, liked, or right.

Nice people lie to be nice.

Caring people speak the truth, even if harsh or hard, because they care enough about you. The skill is in doing this in a way that uplifts. See the ebook, Speak the Truth – 7 steps to radical truth with compassion, for how. https://syntropic.world/syntropic-library-speak-the-truth/)

Photo Taken April 15th 2018.  Article published April 15th 2026