One of my beloved evening practices, just before I fall asleep, includes the reading of some mystical poetry. I have fallen deeply in love with the poetry of Hafiz. I find Daniel Ladinsky’s translations beautiful. (See “The Gift,” or “The Subject Tonight is Love,” or “I Heard God Laughing.”) His ecstatic joy sings from every line and word.
A few weeks ago I was speaking with my good friend, Sarah, over a bowl of pasta and some great Argentinean red wine, and we were talking about my long term single status. My daughter is 19, so for 17 years I have spent the majority of my time single. (Other than several years with Joseph, which was mostly long distance.)
Rarely these days do I think too much about being single. I used to think something was wrong with me. While a part of me would love a partnership with someone to share adventures of mind, body and spirit, my life is rich already, with great friends and beloved teachers. And I am simply not that interested in having a relationship just for being in relationship.
In my many conversations with Spirit, and my journaling, I have sat with the question of my singleness. It is as it is. The perfection is that I have had to learn not just to be a single parent, and a career focused woman, but also to remove dead rats, coach-roaches, and other vermin, and to be a model of a woman able to live a rich life without fitting the more traditional mode. And lets face it, traditional was never on my “to do” list. Hence the Positive Deviant! Fits me like glove.
Along the way I have also learned to surrender, to ask for help, to be vulnerable, to be at peace (most days) with my life as it is. (The biggest struggle I have inside is not with my single status, but with my achiever status, still trying to really reconcile that my life is incredibly successful, even though it may not be “traditionally” successful. There…I shun traditional in so many ways, yet have held as my marker of life the traditional picture of success. And yes, most of the time now, I know that this traditional picture of success is just someone elses idea that I brought lock stock and barrel. And most of the time these days I do feel very at peace with my version of success. But, human as I am, some days I am down in the basement, fighting the inner dragon.)
Back to the conversation with Sarah. In reading Hafiz, I am more in desire, want and love with the mystic union with God than some flesh and blood union with a mortal. I could well have been a Nun. Not in the religious way, but in the mystical way. Hafiz and Rumi and St. Teresa of Avila, all of these mystics and others write of this ecstatic union. The joy and love literally entangles me. Better than sex, maybe even better than chocolate. No wonder I have not found a flesh and blood male. I almost pity any male who might try to match this great love I seek.
And…you just never know what the Universe has up its sleeve. When my marriage ended, I made a vow to never say never to anything. To always remain open to the infinite possibilities. At the least I have learned that God is always laughing at our silly little beliefs and superstitions, so it is highly likely that some man will arrive from left field and disarm me completely.
The following poem spoke to me so strongly that I had to write about it, or more particularly, share it with you.
With That Moon Language
Admit something:
Everyone you see, you say to them,
“Love me.”
Of course you do not do this out loud;
Otherwise,
Someone would call the cops.
Still though, think about this,
This great pull in us to connect.
Why not become the one
Who lives with a full moon in each eye
That is always saying,
With that sweet moon
Language,
What every other eye in this world
Is dying to
Hear.
Hafiz (translated by Daniel Ladinsky)
Thank you for the gift of the poem. It is amazing how truth is so simple and beautiful. And thank you for your vulnerability. My day is just beginning. What a wonderful way to welcome the sun and set my energy for the day. I will try to remember.
HI Marcia,
thanks as always for your own gift of beauty and love.
love christine
Dear Christine,
Thank you for your words, but more importantly for the thoughts behind the words, and more important yet, for the unchanging essence of Love that birthed the thoughts behind the words.
I have been meditating on “That Sweet Moon Language” for the last 7months. So beautiful. So simple. So pure and so true. How humbling and exciting at the same time.
This divine “moon language,” this universal song, it calls to every soul to join the choir, to let the heart dance and to sing.
It is in these times that we come to experience what Theresa of Avila spoke of, “We find God in ourselves, and ourselves in God.”
I know when my heart sings this song…I am in tune.
Or in the words of St. Francis:
I hear you singing dear, inviting me to your limb.
I am coming, for all that we do is a
Preparation for
Love.
I hear you singing, my Lord, inviting me to your throne.
We are coming, dear, for all the toil you have
Blessed us with
Is a preparation to know and hold the
Sacred.
I hear you singing, my soul, but how can it be that
God’s voice has now become
My own?
“That is just a wedding gift for our
Divine Union,”
My beloved
Said.
Dear Brent,
how beautiful is this, all of it, including the poem/prayer from St Francis. Thank you so very much for sharing.
Blessings to you,
Christine
Dear Christine,
My joy to share. Love begets love.
Thank you for first recognizing and then posting “That Crazy Moon Language.”
Brent.